Turtle butts and the K.G.B.- known to others as “Nanjing”

(yes, that title will eventually make sense)

Lalala, 4 hour bus rides are so wonderful, lalala

HI NANJING!!!

Sometimes, you gotta love my USAC director. We get off the bus, and I ask her “So what should I expect with the weather here?” Her response: “Oh, well Nanjing is known as one of the four furnaces of China.”

Great.

The not-so-purple PURPLE MOUNTAIN

Our first stop of the day was the “Purple Mountain” area. We gleefully hop off the bus and everyone has a mini-spaz session after 4 hours of being cooped up on a bus. This ranged from some kid running around in circles, two people flipping out to Dub-step music, and one girl who walked off into the distance and sprawled out on the ground.

After about ten minutes, we gathered our wits, recalled that we were “civilized” human beings, and began our march into the deathly heat.

Here’s something I’ve noticed regarding China and its historical sites. This country really loves their insanely long, paved with uneven rocks, no shade, death walks from hell that you have to take every time you want to get to some site. Seriously. Tian’an Men Square: giant shadeless square. The Forbidden City: Massive long walkway until you get inside, then it is walkway after walkway until you reach the end. Heavenly Palace? Yup. Tiger Hill: yup. Random place inside Purple Mountain? Hellz yup. I don’t even know what it was that we were walking to see, and for the life of me, I cannot find it, even with the assistance of the all-powerful Wikipedia. Shucks. Welp, it was something that looked like this:

-----Giant passageway and huge wall (a.k.a. Ming Xiaoling Mausoleum)-----

-----Take care of the lawn and enjoy the charm of Nature-----

-----Why yes, that is a turtle butt sticking out of a wall...-----

After visiting this place (which ever-so shockingly reminded me of ALL the other historical buildings in China), we re-walked the walk-of-death in the beating sun, cried that we had no water, and began the forever-long walk down the semi-shaded, mostly-not shaded path of the Ming Dynasty famous tombs or something like that.

Oh-right. I am quite aware that at this moment I sound like I couldn’t care less about Nanjing. This is a false impression. I enjoyed it. It was great. I just spent the whole time drenched in sweat and questioning if that kiosk in the distance was a mirage or a for-realz place where I could consume liquids. I’m all for culture expeditions. Don’t get me wrong. It’s just that it’s summer. It is summer and I am visiting one of the four furnaces of China. It is summer, visiting a furnace, and I forgot a water bottle. It is summer, I’m in a furnace without water, and as far as I can see, a semi-paved path lies before me, with no happy greeting at the end because I cannot actually see the end.

With that said- I shall continue. Along this pathway, there are random statues. The statues flank each side of the maybe-there-was-once-a-pathway-here path, and alternate between standing and sitting. I chilled with the horses for awhile, before going to hang out with the camels. Then I met the dog-lion-dragon creature and decided he was going to be my buddy for the next few minutes while I leaned against his flowing stone mane and surveyed my surroundings. In the distance I could see one of the boys of our group defiling a statue through odd gestures involving his pelvis. Further on I could see the rest of the group stumbling forward, as though they were slaves to the heat. I blinked, whipped the sweat from my eyes and trudged on.

-----SURPRISE! Another forever long passage way. At least this one is super pretty and shaded.-----

-----Why yes, they are weed-whacking the ENTIRE hillside...exhibit A of China's labor policy-----

About an hour into walking, our leader (FeiFei, my Chinese teacher whom I adore) informs us that we have reached the end, and a trolley will be picking us up. We all cheer with joy. Salvation at last! Water! Bathrooms! FREEDOM!

…but no.

Fifteen minutes into us waiting, we are all now sprawled out on the ground, picking at the stones like small children. Half of us are crying, the other half is whining incessantly. I picked myself up and crawled over to a dead bush, hoping that if I cowered beneath it I might be able to shield at least every other centimeter or so of my back from the sun. Silly me.

Feifei gets a phone call. It goes like this “Wei? Mm, mm. Dui. Women shi zher. Mm. SHI MA?! NOOOOOOO. Mm. mm. hao,hao, baibai.”

…I await the verdict.

Turns out we walked exactly the wrong direction for thirty minutes. Cool game, China, you got me again.

Dr. Sun Yat-Sen's Memorial

After our glorious thirty-minute trudge back, we arrive at the trolleys that transport us to Dr. Sun Yat-Sen’s  tomb site. I reload on water, murder any inkling of dehydration and take stock of the situation.

If you lived inside my head (and could hear my thoughts), this is how the next hour went: Yeah. Bring it on China. I’ve got this. I’m gonna get cultured whether you like it or not. Creator of New China, here I come! ...seriously. ANOTHER FOREVER LONG PATHWAY? Okay. That won’t get me down. No way, No way. I’m gonna do this. Slight incline of the pathway? No biggie. I know I can do this…I can do this…I think I can do this…I…When.Does.It.End. After the long pathway from hell, I was greeted by about twenty stairs. I had arrived. I MADE IT. HAHAHAHA, No one can defeat me! 

----impostor.-----

Take that, China Sun. I win. La,la,la, just gonna walk around this “mausoleum” now…la,la…

WHAT. What. Is. That.

-----The real trek up to the mausoleum-----

Oh…okay. Dear Legs of Mine, I’m sorry ahead of time. Here we go again. As I was walking up the stairs, I decided to curse the architect of Dr. Sun Yat-sen’s memorial. He had to know that people would think they had arrived when they reached the end of the death-pathway (please note: when I make mentions to death-pathways, that is seriously how you feel on them. And when I say “long” I mean, three or four football fields at a minimum. No shade. Dark stone. You do the math.) they would think that this was it. But no, you positioned the pathway perfectly so that no one could see the seemingly insurmountable stairs that await. Had I known this, I would have gone pee first. This is gonna take awhile. 

-----half way up!-----

-----getting closer!-----

Finally, my body reached the top. It took my brain a little while longer to register because it had gone into “survival mode” which is what I tend to do when I see annoyingly long or cumbersome tasks before me. Once my brain clicked back on, I looked around.

-----VICTORY.-----

Holy goodness me. The view was stunning. Off in the far right corner, you could see the distant city of Nanjing (obviously not so distant if it could be made out through the China-smog). In front of the memorial were the Purple Mountains (really big hills) jutting out to meet the sky. It was beautiful. 

After walking back down the 400-or so stairs, I enjoyed another one of those Bahahaha-I’m-so-glad-I’m-here moments when I saw this:

-----Note the confused cat and the peak-a-boo nipple. Classy.-----


Oh. I also found this:

-----"KGB biscuit"....Do they know?.....-----

The Nanjing Wall 

The Nanjing Massacre Memorial Hall

-----The devils have sent the bombers again….

The poor orphans,

Frightened by the vicious laugh of the brutal devils.

Terrified by the corpses piling up in the alley

Have lapsed into numbness…-----

-----a fraction of the records from the massacre.-----

The memorial was painful, and the interior of the museum was, to say the least, difficult to get through. Not only did they display the typical artifacts from the time, but there were quotes and images and an entire section reserved to commemorate the atrocities and horrific acts that were done to women of all ages.

I am angry with how our society seems to almost ignore rape (and don’t try to tell me otherwise), and makes it nearly impossible for young girls to feel comfortable expressing the violent acts that have happened to them. Seeing the residual effects in photographs right before me in this museum physically hurt. It is sad to know the only thing that has changed regarding some men’s treatment of females, small girls and women alike, is time.