Hallucinations on the Subway

I knew I was ill when I woke up at 5am shivering under the covers. The air around me read almost 80 degrees Fahrenheit, and my entire body ached. One problem- I had to get to my internship.

Thus, the next hour and a half was spent stumbling around my apartment grumbling angrily at inanimate objects, showering in scalding hot water which turned my entire body red. I knew I was irrationally cold, I mean…my forehead was burning up and I kept shaking, all I wanted was heat.

I don’t quite recall how I made it to the subway, then the bus, then to work. I do recollect hovering over my computer with a box of tissues and simply waiting out the work day…

My memory reappears while I am on the bus heading home from work. I remember suddenly becoming incredibly hot and feeling as though the sun was beating down on my back even though the air conditioning was blowing strong. I shed the sweater I had been wearing all day, and suddenly was overcome with the intense need to drink all of the water in the world. Unfortunately, I had absolutely no water around me- nor would I have the opportunity to purchase water for the next two hours.

Looking back on this moment in the epic adventure home I realize how amazing the human mind can be. It controls everything- absolutely everything we think and do. It holds within its walls our incredible ability to cope with uncomfortable situations. Honestly- when the situation arises, we learn to adapt in a split second if our surroundings show no other option. This is what I think happened to me around this time, because the next thing I recall is that I am on the subway clutching a poll for dear life and listening to Haydn’s Surprise Symphony No. 94 in G. You might want to play this while you read through the remainder of this post.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gF-Wzp8Ni8

This is when my recollection of events takes a turn for the twisted…

So…my subway ride home is about 30 minutes, but I “regained consciousness” just as the voice overhead bellowed “…dao Yancheng…” which meant in my delirious head that the next stop was my savior. I suddenly become aware that my body is shaking and my head feels like it is going to explode. I looked around the subway and tried to focus on people’s faces but they were continuously rotating. Yes, the faces were rotating- the head and body did not move, but the faces were vibrating back and forth, and some looked like they were being pushed back into the subject’s head, as though their faces were imploding.

I exit the subway, head upstairs and out into the humid night air. I now have about a ten minute walk home. All I remember are two things, and keep this in mind: my surroundings consist of a shouting crowd of homogenous faces that I am trying to avoid looking at for obvious hallucinogenic reasons, steaming carts and street vendors that require skilled dodging, a dark sky overhead, and uneven pavement that I swear has a mind of its own:

1. As I was crossing the street there was a group of old ladies doing old-lady-dancing. The only weird thing is that they were moving EXACTLY to the beat of Haydn’s symphony. I stopped and let the crowd of people crossing flow around, or into, me. My mouth dropped open and my eyes locked onto this seemingly magical charade before me. I’m thinking “how did they know to choreograph a dance to this song? How did they know I’d be here, right now, to watch it? This. Is. Magic.” I actually stopped for so long that I did not notice the light above me change to green and cars began honking angrily for me to get out of the way.

2. I literally ran smack into the fattest Asian man I have yet to see. The only problem was that I thought I had just been hit by a car so I let out a scream and yelled “STOP MOVING!” (yes, in English). After suffering whiplash from the bounce-back and the woefully uncomfortable feeling of having my shaking self body-checked, I realized that nay- it was not a car but a man. Not only that, but this incredibly large man had the utter most petrified face I have yet to witness. He just stood there, arms stretched out and staring at me as thought he thought I was a broken rag doll. Granted, I’m sure my own face looked like I was on all kinds of drugs. My only solution at that moment was to maneuver around the massive boulder, stay silent and keep walking.

Somehow I ended up in my room. I only know this because I awoke at 7am, still in my work clothes, shoes on, bag wrapped around my shoulder. I was laying face down on the bed. I literally did not move for 11 hours. I got up to wash my face, etc. and laughed out loud at the sight in the mirror. Not only had my mascara created intricate designs of wonder around my eyes, but I had sheet impressions all over my face as though I was a wrinkly old woman.

…with that said, I assume my fever broke in the middle of the night, because I did awake drenched in sweat. After a shower, I did a self check. My body is still aching and I have a cough that sounds like I am possessed and communing with the devil. Other than that, I also have a nose that has high aspirations to become a faucet and a brain that wants a larger skull.

But what can ya do?

So, fear not readers who actually care/worry about me! I obviously can take care of myself in this big bad city…even when faced with fantastical dancers, morphing faces and the rare assault by Car-Man, all while maintaining a fever at hallucination-level, I can still make it home to my bed.

Take that China. I win again.